Looking for campaign funding? Why not try to restart the cold war?

Are you an American politician hoping to increase your campaign funding?  Why not join other American patriots and tap into cash from from major defence contractors? Our lobbying firm can help you have a Super PAC which is really super.

These defence companies have many calls on their finances and you will need to demonstrate that you are seriously committed to fomenting nuclear war between the US and a worthy opponent. Don’t waste their time prating about terrorism. These companies need people who can bring contracts for big ticket items such as missiles, aircraft carriers and submarines.

Prod the bear

The best way to demonstrate that you are a serious player is to approach them with a well thought out plan for a nuclear holocaust. You will need something that will really get the Russkies riled up.

For example, how about planning a strike on the Kozelsk missile fields south west of Moscow?

Warplan

As well as knocking out some missiles the prevailing winds should ensure a >10,000 rem fallout cloud over Moscow with over 16 million casualties including 13 million deaths.  That idea should get the Russkies pretty annoyed and, if you are lucky, provoke them to do something that will increase US defence spending.

All our clients have access to a number of tools which you will find  invaluable when preparing your plans.

DNA nuclear Targeting binders 01

Defense Nuclear Agency Damage Prediction Rule 1986 version 21

In case things get out of hand we can help you make arrangements for some secure accommodation. Iron Mountain has some suites available, or perhaps a converted Titan missile silo might be most attractive. There are lots of locations available.  For really deep security you might want to consider a bijou residence in one of America’s 15 salt mines. You would be over 600 ft  down and when you emerged you would find your surviving electorate eager for the kind of leadership only you can provide and our company ready to help you with your campaign needs.

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